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The technical term is cahexia
the term for wasting away slowly

Now for something she's been doing
for the past thirty years
feeding vocabulary
to her fledgling

and alternative
to a social life

you can always count on an
alternative
to be more dangerous than the
substitute

she has made it clear
that romantic forayes are nothing to be discussed

so I feel
that i've been given an opening
and I will
leap into it

There has only been one account
on our part

one thing
that has gone off course
gone so far
that I don't know how they began

So she exuses herself
from this room

She goes into the next
and behind half closed doors
I can hear
what I don't want to hear

Another little anecdote;
A ha-ha funny story

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you know that look
the look someone gives you when they don't approve
that look from eye to eye
the up and down

thats what it's like
eyes narrow into slits
slits become dashes
dashes mark the path
of everything that you've done wrong

the fuck up
you
the liar
the cheater

Eyes narrow into slits
Lips twist into a hill side volcano
ready to errupt
but not doing it

now that is power
that is true power
the ability to kill
the ability to strike you down with one word
and not doing it

this is that look

eyes narrow into slits
slits become dashes
and dashes mark the path

this is true power.

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The phone is ringing
But no one answers it
I mean why should they
It isn't a break it is just that much more work
that many more seconds behind
that much mmore human interaction through a machine
And still the phone is ringing
it sounds like a fog horn but no one is exactly startled
or moving out of the way
it is just a suggestion
it only means please nothin more
And still the phone rings
it goes on and on and on
and so does everyone else
everyone is busy talking to a machine to talk to a person
loop holes of humanity
you can get out of humanity easy now
and guess what, the phone still rings
and still no body picks it up
and still everyone walks past it
and still no one cares
a person
a machine
a person
this is communication
this is love
this is getting in touch
no, this is keeping in touch
no, but the phone, it keeps ringing
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"All The Angels"


I hate this rusted hinges and broken key
and everything that reminds me of me
qith quarter notes and symetry
and the pure envy
from this key and me
that grows and grows like a evergreen

And the door will close
but these songs and prose
will not open a single rose
before the early frost has froze
all the beautiful glows
of reds, greens, blues and yellows
but thats just fine with me

Until my knees go weak
and I can't speak
all tounge and cheek
with everything now broken and cheap
these are the last things I need

And we can't win
so we'll give in
on this test
we did our best
but it's not enough
so we play rough
until that time "eventually"
we will just have to wait and see
who is the thiefe...
we'll have to get lucky...
or free...

Comments Are Welcome
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"Getting In Touch" -Chris Gartland

I've been pulling teeth
For anything I can get in-touch with
I'm an easy target
With both motive and martyr

I cling to palavar
As I ride through the subway
And look over myshoulder
Only to see myself reflected in the window

These are the things you worry about

There is no such thing as providence
As as far as I can see
Speed is what these kids can call salvation

The subtle irony comes
When they talk so fast
They bite off their own tounge

These are the things you worry about

I'm always looking back
As if one day
I won't have any regrets behind me

But everyone who passes by me is another regret

The residue in lines on the kitchen table
The cut up straws in the trash
You really can't beat it

And you've got to love it
How their eyes sink in
And they look all squirrely without the fur
And cute tail

I guess conciousness
Is my body's way of telling me
I'm here

Just like everyone elses does in some way...

There arms are so slender
You can acctualy run their tracks
The twists and tunrs would further the ironic tone of these kids
These kids who i hold such admiration for
They chase dreams
Like flying...or falling

Admiriation wasn't the right word was it...
But it will do...

I just keep thinking "What has this place done for you"
and
"Which one has gone to hell"

So between breaths I mutter anything to get me by

I've been pulling teeth
And you know what?
I still can't get in touch....
Current Music:
Bright Eyes: Easy/Lucky/Free
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* * *
"Philosophy"

Philosophy,
you've done more thinking in the past year than in your entire life.
After all this the one conclusion I have reached is that thinking is vastly overrated.
As far as pleasures go all sorts of activiies beat thinking to hell.
Another whiskey to amble back through his glory days.
The field
the game
the friends
they're all dead now
and in a quirky almost cosmic way
...so is he...
He is more of a hood ornimant, a decoration
He is a metaphor for everything you never want to be
Love,
bet you thought it didn't exsist.
Seriously, neither did I.
But screw all that romantascism bull shit, real love isn't about that
That my friend is just another tranquiizing substitute.
That's a fantasy for peole whos true horror is love.
God,
lets not mention him/her/it
I've lost all fait entirely
God, I'll back you up when you back me up
God, I'll love you when my father stops drinking
God, thanks for Cancer, AIDS, Race Wars and about 70 million other accountable deaths
No, this isn't nihilism
no 'm not a stoic or a naturalist
or even an exsistentialist
This is a human
And i'll be damned and i'll be catagorized
but I won't be taken for a fool
Maturity,
Lets all old out own
practice what you preach
we cant practic if we can't preach
we can't learn if we can't try
Rules and regulations, polite athourianism
Nothing is careful about that kind of care
As for morals, well those are self defined
while some drink and drink
like they are trying to drown a ship
Others do everything in their power to be that ship
I can't believe anyone is born naturally good, inherently evil or a blank slate
And i Don't Want to...
this is everything in a nutshell
this is everything you never cared to know
Philosophy, you've done more thinking in the past year than in your entire life...


[all comments and critics welcome]
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