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* * *
Life
a forward looking drive
we loose the rest
a motion that erases the rest
a time before a time
things of the past
We change the name
and change the place
change the story
and change the pretenses
its an unfortunate thing to destroy the story
a break down of life
a still frame
something you can't capture
but try to
and it gets to be a joke
it becomes sometihng childish
and selfish
it becomes the same thing
as laughing to yourself
and clapping for something you don't like
It is nothing to get smug about
guilt is written on everyones face
its on my face, hands, chest, legs, neck, wrist etc
it is all over
its all over
* * *
And every december
since i was 13 has been the same

a wash with disappointments
eyes transfixed on the horizon
wishing that the sun would rise faster and stay longer

The fashions of seasones just pass by so easily
so carelessly

as if it need not worry about the inhabitants of this world
as though we dont predict it
as though any of this matters...

There was no romantic memories
just cocoa made with water and watching the same christmas specials
that never leave the T.V.
for an entire month

Just like us
just like us

Just like I once was
Which is someithng i am now not

I am not what I once was
I am not what I once was
I am not what I once was

Current Location:
Bedroom, Parents House
Current Music:
David Bowie: The Loneliest Guy
* * *
Loving you
Is like building a ladder
To reach the moon,
No matter how much effort
I put into it
You can still
Just float away
* * *
A short break in the rain
and I can still remember how the gentle drops
hit the cars roof
like a tin can
as we speed on
into some unforseen horizon
scared by street signs and stop lights
80 miles per hour
down the interstate
just you, me and our old Smith's tapes
(you know, louder than bombs, the one you love)
and how every time you kissed my cheek
I wanted it to be time to stop
but It never was time to stop
so we drove
we drove for 6 hours
we drove straigt into the sunrise
becasue we where so sick of sunsets
and the rain decided to go the other way
and it left us feeling all warm and new
but despite it all
the long hours
and the silence
you sat beside me
and didn't close your eyes
you stayed up
you and me, we drive
we drive because we are so afraid to stop
and face the fact that we are everything we ever thought we couldn't be
you and I, we drive...
* * *
The coiling smoke
from the first cigarret of the day
traveling upwards
breaching the heavens above your head
forming boundries
drawing lines
building bridges out of what was burned

The ashes are angels
But you don't pay them mind
you lets the float down
as they tumble away
down
down
down

They hit the ground...
no deafening thud
life carries on
no one notices
no one cares much for the tragic
unless they need entertainment

ah, entertainment
the cigarret
the spark
the lighter
the kindeling
the flames
the brutality
the wars
the murders
the repent
the forsaken
the damned
the children
the women
the men
the soliders
everyone you cannot save
everyone you do not see
everyone you wish to be
everyone you never liked
everyone you ever did hate
everyone and everything that you are not

you are not
you are
you
you are not...

the smoke
the coiling smoke
The coiling smoke
from the first cigarret of the day
traveling upwards
breaching the heavens above your head
forming boundries
drawing lines
building bridges out of what was burned
* * *
* * *
I can't remember the last time I felt happy
I can't garuntee this time will last
Nothings certain
Nothing is set in stone
People come and go
Tides come and go
Citys, world, universes...
They all come and go
But you...You...
You say You will stay
And I Believe You
I Say i Will Stay...
Please...Please!...Don't Make Me a Liar....
* * *
Morning time.

Sitting wide asleep.

Pounding on the keys.

Pounding on my inside.

Thinking about my skin.

It misses your hands.

The air is cold.

I shiver.

My skin is cold.

It misses the warmth of yours.

Pounding keys.

Trying to send a signal to you.

A signal from my heart.

Fingertips bruised.

Heart bruised.

Will you answer?

Salty kisses replaced your kisses.

Cold mornings replaced our mornings

Current Mood:
content content
* * *
It's his eyes,
something about his eyes
He seems not to look at you...
but into you
he knows
I like that
I love the way his lips arc up into a smile even when he isnt smiling
the turned up corners permentantly encraved
he is beautiful
he isn't carved like a greek god
and I'm glad
he is human
he isn't perfect
and I love that
The way his hands feel as the slowly graze the small of my back
and continue up until they reach my shoulder blades
then they continue back down
he knows what I'm a sucker for
he knows, and I Like that
I can say I trust Him
But Thats An Understatment
I think he understands all this...
I hope he does
The gentel gestures and stares after each kiss let me know exactly what he is thinking
he is thinking that he is in love
and loved in return
Those eyes...
It starts with his eyes....
Current Music:
Audio Bullys:The Things
* * *
Times are changing
It all comes down to this
These defining moments in our life

We either face up and fess up
Or we go down with the ship
It acctualy is an even split

We all have slipped up
And let opportunity pass us by
For more reasons than one

But exuses can be made
But still
They are just excuses

I will not run
I will stick to my guns
Baby, I'm going down with the ship

* * *
There is this guy
I think I love him
I mean, It fits

Is it fear of being lonely
Or is it Love?
And why me?

There is this guy
And he can make me laugh
Or I just laugh with him

It could be nervousness
I like to think it's cleverness
I hope it is...right?

There is this guy
And he will never know
because I won't let him

I second guess everything
And this
This is love
And this is something he will never know...

* * *
* * *

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